Why CheDet?

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah dan salam sejahtera,

When people ask me: Who is your hero?
My answer ........was never and will never be Dr. Mahathir Mohammad or also known as CheDet. Having had this man to be my prime minister since the first time I stumbled upon Malaysian politic, CheDet played a significant role in my life during my childhood and as a teenager. Early years knowing him, I never like him. Simply because my father is a hardcore of the opposition. He loved to discuss politic with his fellow friends, and I, as a little kid loved to eavesdrop them.

He, my father would buy magazines and newspapers, of course from the opposition's proxy. However, ayah is not that close minded or 'jumud'. He also buys (till now) newspapers of the mainstream, just to keep the whole family updated with current issues. I remembered enjoying different newspapers for 'my lunch' after coming back from school. My reading 'menu' ranges from Utusan, Berita Harian, Harakah and Utusan Jawi (during the weekends). Yes, ayah bought Utusan and Berita Harian, but later he stopped subscribing for Utusan, as the news more or less were the same for both.

Now, back to CheDet. My father was my great influence for the foundation of my political view. What can I say, I was too opposition when I was a small kid. I talked about politic since I was in Standard Two. I, later realized that it was only me who fond of pembangkang. Ok, nevermind with that.

However, when I'm smart enough to digest whatever I've read, I started to ask ayah: apa salah PM (that time was CheDet), ayah? Ayah would give his answers plus some evidence, facts, hujahan and whatever he thinks it's right. Then, I would go: Owh, Ok...without further argument.

Years passed by, I was in my senior years in high school. Being a headgirl and prefect, I had to go to various leadership courses. Be it Kursus Kepimpinan Negara, Kursus Pemimpin Pelajar, Kursus Patriotisme, I attended it all. I still remember it vividly, it was 2001,when I started to argue once again with ayah.
"Ayah, nape ayah tak suka Dr.M? Apa salah dia?"
Ayah started to tell about Dr.M's corruption, misdeed, injustice in Anwar's scandal, Mega projects etc...
This time, I became argumentative (or was I trying to provoke ayah??). I told ayah that all the projects are meant for us, the rakyat. Please bear in mind, I had this conversation with highly respect towards ayah, plus some good akhlak as a daughter, his my ayah afterall, takkan nak masuk neraka pula.
I dont remember what happened next. All that I remember, ayah said: They brainwashed you 'Ain during the various courses that you've attended. I dont know what poison they used. Now we need to rewash you.
(Ok, I dont remember the exact words, but the idea is something like that)

Since then, I was called 'anak emas Mahathir' by the siblings. I had to tell them, multiple times, that: I'm neither taking the gov's side, nor the opposition's. I'm liberal. Whatever I think is good, then it's good.
However, Najib my kid brother loved to mock me with that gelaran. Najib, it doesnt hurt.

Ok, that is why when CheDet announcing his decision to quit UMNO, I did feel something. It's not that I'm arguing whether his decision is right or wrong. His decision has nothing to do with me. It's just weird I tell you.
Somehow, deep down inside.....CheDet, I feel for you.

p/s: I'm still liberal like I used to be.